Who are you calling fat?!

Yesterday my facebook status went something like this:

you know what? i am TIRED of feeling guilty for being overweight. i exercise every day. i eat a healthful diet. my health-related blood work (including metabolic rate) and blood pressure, resting heart rate, etc are all good. so i am going to buy myself some nice outfits, feel good about how i look in them, and i am not going to waste another second worrying about being a plus-sized woman, or another penny on expensive diet plans or gym memberships that do nothing for me

Mostly, what I received was support.  Lots of LIKES, lots of "YOU GO GIRL" comments.  But one, small voice, had to give me a little flack.  Why, you might ask? Well, the reason was something like THIS:

By being overweight, you're promoting an unhealthy lifestyle.  By saying it's okay to be overweight, you're making it even worse.  Why would you give up "trying" to be healthy, and instead accept the alternative of being a plus-sized woman?

I feel the need to speak to that. (Of course I do. It's what makes me, ME.)

My status wasn't about accepting and promoting an unhealthy lifestyle at all.  In fact, it was just the opposite - I know that I said that I exercise regularly and eat well, didn't I?  And I certainly didn't say that I'm going to stop doing those things.

I've been battling weight-loss for long enough.  (Yes, that's right. I battling weight-LOSS, not battling my weight.)  I've done all the programs.  Jenny Craig.  WeightWatchers.  Dr. Bernstein.  Visalus.  South Beach.  Clean living.  I've done all the exercise.  Personal training.  Bootcamp.  Gym memberships.  Jogging.  Aerobics.  30-Day Shred.  Yep. You name it, I've tried it.

(Oh, and I should mention that I have been working closely with the dietician at the diabetes clinic, and with the metabolic specialist for over 25 years, so I am more than sure that I am eating properly on an everyday basis...)

But none of it has made a difference.  In twelve years of battle (the majority of my weight gain came with my first pregnancy, and no, it was not because I was overeating while pregnant, so don't even go there!) the most loss I have EVER seen is eight pounds.  Yes, eight.  I have flabbergasted doctors and kinesiologists and holistic nutritionists for over a decade, if you can believe it.

And my point is this:

My status was about accepting who I am on the outside, while feeling good about who I am on the inside.  That doesn't sound unhealthy to me at all.  Actually, I think it's rather positive, and maybe even a little bit of a self-esteem victory.

What I really want is to enjoy my life, in all its plus-sized, glorious detail.  I want to put away the shirts that "almost" fit, and feel great in my skinny jeans - that aren't exactly skinny.  I want to be proud of the fact that I don't need bust-enhancing bras, and be thrilled that my theme song is Baby Got Back.  I want to stop watching my slimly-built, tiny-boobed friends eating chocolate cake and be worried that they think I'm abstaining for weight-related reason.  So guess what? That's EXACTLY what I'm going to do.